Story of my life
First I will start by introducing myself: I’m a boy and quite an ordinary one, whose only desire is to love and to be loved back in return. I may be young and anyone can tell that I’m not experienced, but being gay in this world gives you the „pleasure” of being experienced in life at a very fragile age. So I will not tell you why I am experienced in life… these few worlds say it all: "I’m gay!”.
Gay love
I’ve been in past relationships before with girls and boys alike, but girls didn’t interest me, didn’t give me the pleasure of life… so it was only for my image: I had to try it out so I could be sure that I am what I was meant to be. So after going out with girls I was convinced that my life with a boy is the something that I’ve always imagined: something beautiful.
I never wanted to have one night stands and adventures: I was always too scared to indulge myself in such activities. But the truth is I did, a few times, and I’m not proud of it. Although some say that if you do something, do it so you will feel no regrets afterwards. Anyway, I have no regrets, nor am I proud, either.
I will not go into details about my past relationships, since it wasn’t my intention to do so in this post: I just want to tell you about one particular relationship – the one that forever marked my life, the one that was the most beautiful of them all.
So let’s rewind time four years ago, to the day when we first met. It started like an ordinary day, like the rest of my days before that: it was boring and I had nothing to do. It was a winter Monday. I first wrote him on this boring wintery day on a gay social network website, and he replied. Although it never crossed my mind that he would answer, I thought "what the hell, I’ll give it a try!"
And so I did. And what do you know, he answered my message… it was a hello but still, he replied. And from there on we started a conversation, and planned to meet face to face on that week, on Friday… and it was Friday 13th.
So days passed by and we exchanged Yahoo IDs and so we chatted using the messenger; later on we exchanged telephone numbers and we talked more, until the Day has arrived, that famous day: Friday the 13th .
Our first date was on that day that we have planned: Friday 13th, 2008. My first impression when I saw him was: “Damn, he’s gorgeous!…”
We went to a local restaurant and had a couple of beers; after that I walked him home, we kissed and then I went home.
Days have passed and we met more, we got along pretty well. We had a lot of fun together and we went out a lot, hanging out and stuff. Those were the best days of my life, I couldn’t wish for more or better. It was like a dream come true.
When I first met him I was still a student, but that wasn’t a problem, and we still met quite often. A few dates later he introduced me to his family – and I was so flattered that he did that. His mom is cool.
I guess right now you’re wondering if we had sex at our first date. They say that all gay men have sex on their first date; that all gay men just want to get laid. Well I have to disappoint you; we haven’t had sex throughout our first 3 months. I would have wanted to, but he told me that he wanted to wait until he was sure, so I waited; I let him take his time.
Then came February 14th: Valentine’s Day. I bought him a ring and I received one too: oh, he had it engraved with these words: “With love, Levy”; it was my very best gift ever received.
As for the not-so-funny part, I’ve got to tell you that although we hadn’t had sex for 3 months, he did have sex with his ex-boyfriend just a week before Valentine’s Day… I was really disappointed in this, but I forgave him because, at that time, I was in love. He confessed me that he had cheated on me on a party at a gay bar, with tears in his eyes. And he had also told me then that he did not deserve me and that I was too good for him; he had wanted to end this thing right there, right then - but then I told him that I would forgive him and so we moved on with that special something that we tried to build together.
One or two weeks later we went to this party thing in our city called “Travision” (It’s something like transvestites singing Eurovision songs). So we went at this party, and had a really good time together. (By the way…I don’t really like that…but anyways, it was fun). We had a few beers, we danced… and it was the best party I ever attended with him.
On my birthday (March 13th) he made me the most special present ever: we made love. It was fun, and at the same time it felt really good. I can still feel that kiss and I can still feel that touch, as if it were yesterday. I know exactly what I’ve done and what I felt then. It felt then as if I were on the top of the world and as if the whole world was mine - and I don’t expect that feeling to ever disappear. I felt so secure that I thought I was capable of everything.
Then came the summer and we went on a trip, both of us, plus his brother and his brothers’ girlfriend. We went on this little vacation, just the four of us, for four days, and we had the time of our lives. We had so much fun together, and we enjoyed every moment of it.
We went swimming; we had a few pictures taken at a local waterfall. And man, that waterfall was awesome, and so was that mini vacation! I still remember how happy we were together, I still see that smile upon his mouth. We had it all and we had each other!
And if you think that “damn this is a perfect relationship”, well I have to disappoint you: we had our first fight, just like it happens in any other relationship. But I think that those fights were essential at that time: no relationship is fight-free, or at least that’s what I think.
We had a great time together. We had lots of fun together. We went to a gay party a few times and it was good. Sometimes he slept at my place and sometimes I slept at his place - and it was ok.
Then came his birthday, November 24th, and I got him a nice present. We went to Cluj-Napoca to have some fun at a local gay bar. Well, it didn’t work out quite as we planned. We had fun, but at a certain point we had our first huge fight. He didn’t want to talk to me for a while; and we didn’t talk for a couple of days, but after that it all went back to almost normal. I mean, we were back together but it wasn’t the same. We had some more fights after that.
That was the day our relationship had changed: not in a good way but, unfortunately, in a bad one way. But we moved on. We kept on seeing each other, but it didn’t quite feel the same.
I don’t think I will bore you with my story: after all that’s al in the past now. We broke up almost two years later but we are still good friends nowadays. He’s meeting someone else, I’m still single - but it’s okay.
I will stop my story since it sometimes hurts me to remember; sometimes it’s fun to remember but most of the times it hurts… So, as they say: case closed. I have to move on. I think I wasted too much time and energy while putting this on paper. Now it’s time to grow up and step into the light, to go and see the world.
So, I hope you enjoyed reading this post about me, and I hope you’ve got a picture about me, about how I am and what I am.
In the end I just hope that I will fall in love again and hope that he will love me back in return.
I sure think that life is worth living and enjoying for as long as you can, since you know what they say: "life’s short”...
The End
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