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Useful tips on how to cope with... homophobic families!

June 20, 2010 |  by

Even if the world has evolved very much throughout time, regardless of the area of activity we`re talking about, some people just have their perceptions and prejudices that can`t be changed that easily, no matter how good you are at persuading people. Same works for homophobic parents and families, where gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people live under pressure and stress so they`re lives are basically hell.

Happily, I have found (and experienced!) some ways that can help gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender people to cope with their homophobic families. You see, I have a homophobic father that just can`t accept the fact that I am different from the others, and he never will even though he loves me and he showed me this so many times. My mother is ok with the idea now, although she`s been against it for so long. On one hand, it`s understandable for a parent not to accept the fact that maybe he won`t have grandsons and the people will gossip me at every corner, so I don`t judge him, you know ...?

First tip would be that having a best friend is essential, I`ve felt this on my own skin. I have  a best female friend that stands by me regardless of the mistakes I make or the decisions I take. It is very important to have somebody to talk to and to know that he or she understands what you`re going through and don`t say a bad thing about it. Homophobic families try to change you and explain you that it`s wrong to be gay, bisexual, lesbian, transgender. They`re right from one point of view because when you`re different your life is harder than the other`s and you encounter with many haters and homophobic people throughout your life, and all that parents want is to see their children happy and fulfilled.

The second tip consists in focusing more on what you enjoy doing. So, whether you enjoy football or make up, try to focus in this and try to become as better as you possibly can. Why do I advice you to do so? It is also important to focus your attention on energy on things that you like because this way you just won`t have the time and mood to think about homophobic families, these being used with other purposes. And besides this, think that it is only for the best to be good in a certain domain of activity, right? At least this is how I see things ... .

In addition to the tips mentioned about, another important thing when it comes to dealing with homophobic families is to attract one member of your family on your side. So if your  get along really well with your brother or sister and your aunt or grannie considers you her favourite nephew, you should "take advantage" of this. Try to explain them whenever you got the chance that there`s nothing wrong in being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender and that as long as you don`t do nothing bad they have no reason to hate. You know, the thing that sometimes bothers me the most is that homophobic families seem to accept easier a MURDERER than a GAY SON.

To sum up, I`d like to remind my readers about an old saying: friends are the only ones that you are able to choose during your life, but the family is being given to you and you have to live with it whether you like it or not. This is one of my favourite proverbs, so if you have a homophobic family try to accept it just the way they are if you tried to change perceptions and you didn`t manage to. Just do it, and if they won`t recognise you as their gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender child it`s their loss!  At least you are happy that did all you could in order for things to be okay, right?

Related posts:

  1. What do you think about homophobic teachers and professors?
  2. How to cope with your homosexuality

2 Comments


  1. Hey,,,
    can i say some thing ?
    any way i am going to ,,,,but its funnt every where i see this LGBT logo and funny enough its for lesbian.gay bisexaul,transgender ;
    BUT NO WERE do i ever see this for the INTERSEX PEOPLE
    and get this INTERSEX is NOT transgender !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Intersex is totally alot different that trans any thing ,,,as we are born with a chromosone issue unlike trans folk who are basically born G.I.D which is nothing to do with INTERSEX on a normal basis ok
    but i have to get this issue out there so people understand ok
    also please look at our videos called INTERSEX with Wendy and mandi Christchurch New Zealand

  2. Thanks for the info, Mandi! Would you like to talk to us more about the Intersex people?

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