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Effeminacy. Too feminine... ?

Bill Kaulitz: effeminated, yet heterosexual. Or so he says.

Effeminacy. Too feminine... ?

September 20, 2010 |  by

For some people, effeminacy is absolutely something natural, something that comes from their inside. They act natural, have fine gestures and feminine looks, and many people see this natural effeminacy as quite attractive. However, if in the past nobody cared so much about this detail, nowadays it`s a real issue for most of the LGBT community, since more and more gay men prefer masculine looking gays rather than effeminated boys.

Rejection of an effeminate boy is commonly met, on gay dating sites and in gay bars or clubs, and most of them got used with that. Many gay men reply to messages with an ironical tone, saying that "Sweetie, I`m gay, that means I like MEN, okay?", when they can simply say "Sorry, you`re not my type" or "Thank you, but I am searching for something else". Guess they simply try to be interesting.

I got used with that rejection years before, when I was an effeminate teen and back then, rejection was simply part of the daily routine for me, as a boy (it`s not the case anymore, though, since I feel better belonging to the opposite gender). Anyway, I believe that there must be a clearly defined limit between effeminacy of gay boys and the effeminacy of those who want to belong to the opposite gender, since most of the effeminate gay men do not want to change their gender or bring any changes to their appearance, contrary of how many gays would be tempted to think.

When it comes to the scientific part, nobody can tell for sure if effeminate boys and men were born with this behaviour or they simply learn it throughout their lives. However, what`s for sure is that some gay men (and heterosexual men as well, atcually) are born with typically female characteristics: well contoured hips, big lips, full cheeks, nice slanted eyes and long eyelashes. I`m not talking here about intersexes or those with certain syndroms, I`m simply talking about men who are "genetically designed" to have an angrodynous look, to own both male and female facial and body characteristics.

Besides the fact that effeminate boys must face the rejection of gay men (potential lovers or simply friends), they also have to face the rejection of siblings, parents, neighbours, friends or even classmates and teachers at school. These things can often cause depressions, because this is only one of the side effects of the marginalization that effeminate gay boys experience throughout their lives.

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1 Comment


  1. I agree with your blog, EFFEMINACY is not something you learn its what you are, but what this blessing or curse can bring for a Generic male is pain, guilt, anger, hate and even violence as society as we all know will condem him and many times he doesn't even understand why !

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