Ikki, the Bisexual Twins. Photo From: http://realitytv.about.com
Bisexuality - Sometimes a rebellious teen phase?
Some people, especially those who are close to you (best friends and family) tend to think and also make you think that bisexuality is nothing but a phase, if you`re passing through your teenager years and that everything will come "back to normal" once you`re done with puberty.
I`ve heard stories when parents tried to make their children believe the same thing and told them that it`s normal to feel attracted by both men and women and that same thing happened to them when they were teenagers. In the end, is it really like this? For like three quarters of bisexuals, bisexuality isn`t a rebellious teen phase at all. It`s a sexual orientation, a lifestyle and definitely not a choice, regardless how many people think the opposite.
On the other hand, I happened to talk to many people throughout my life since part of the LGBT community, including open minded heterosexuals or bi-curious persons who have nothing against gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people. Not once did it happen to hear boys saying things like "Oh, course I was tempted to try something with a guy back then, and I did, I even thought I was bisexual for some while, but neah... I like girls".
I think it`s normal to be confused. I mean, okay, you have this straight friend of yours, you both have girlfriends, and you realise that you care about him more than you would for a regular friend. Then, you experience things that "boys do" and you discover you actually get turned on when you see your friend touching himself or changing in the locker room. However, it is really important to make the difference between a teenager crush/confusion and true bisexuality.
At first, bisexual men and bisexual women tend to see themselves as "gay" or "lesbian", and most of them don`t feel comfortable to be classified like this. Once the time passes, things become more and more clear and at a certain point, your sexuality is fully contoured and without any uncertainties you can say out loud YES, I`M BISEXUAL! Till then, my advice for bisexual and bi-curious teenagers is to stay in the closet, no matter how sure you think you are when it comes to your bisexuality. Trust me, I have friends who came out as gay and after a couple of years they simply realised that they`re not and they were only confused because a girl disappointed them. Try to imagine how did that make them look in front of everybody.
Have you ever experienced things like this in your teenager years? Did you ever feel attracted to somebody of the same gender and thought you`re bisexual? Please comment!
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Persona non grata: Young, dedicated to writing articles and willing to make a change, whether we`re talking about how the people see us, the ones who are part of LGBT, or about writing some thoughts, opinions and other sort of material that hopefully others will find useful.
It certainly wasn't/isn't a rebellion stage at any point in my life. I know that I was "born this way!" Just speaking from my own experience. When I was young I only had male friends... I was always "one of the guys." I was attracted to females just as they were. I still am, and will always be. It's not a "phase" or a "curiousness" for me....
My first sexual experience was with a girl... I prefer women... and I will until my "next life." I think if I could "remember next time" I would skip the entire trying to "fit in and play it straight" phase, and just be with women... that is if I come back as a female next time. As a nurse that has studied human development from conception on... I personally believe that we are all "born bisexual" in some ways... a total mixture of both male and female hormones ... a ying and yang. There was a study done back in the sixties about human sexual behavior.. was famous. The name doesn't come to the front of my mind right now. The movie didn't do the research credit... focusing too much on how things can get out of hand!
What's hard for me as I go from pretending to be "straight" in my close minded state that I live in... and coming out... is that most of the women I "meet" are only interested in the sexual component of a gay/bi/lesbian/trans gender relationship. I want the whole nine yards! Heart, intelligence...shared intrests... a life... and of course passionate making love! ME!
well i guess for me it came on down easy.......i am a gal n i knew that i like gals before i knew that i like guys too....
n u r right sometimes people have mis conceptions about their own sexuality...
so my advice will be same as you persona....
WAIT TILL YOU ARE SURE OF IT.....PICTURE YOURSELF WITH SAME GENDER AND OPPOSITE ONE.........THINK OF HOW IT TRUELY MAKES YOU FEEL......
Well I don't think its rebellious, I think its more of discovering their sexual identity.
This article is accurate for how my sexuality was discovered in my youth,but I don't think it has anything to do with being rebellious. speaking for myself, I liked women before men and I was punished by my mother. As I got older,I felt guilty, u know the whole going to hell thing, so I shy away from women. then I just came to the fact tht i liked women as well and choose to date both. to b frank men leave alot to b desired, not as clean and pretty as women. but my decision came with time,patients and self discovery.I prefer women but my fiancee is a man. and if he were a women i would luv him the same.
With me it was quite different. I grew up in a strict Catholic house and was programed to believe attraction to the same sx was not only morally wrong but a sin. My first experiences were with women and mostly good ones but I found myself attracted to certain guys. This caused great distress but I shrugged it off, afraid to discuss it. I married at age 20 to a wonderful woman and we had two children. After 5 years of marriage, she passed away suddenly at age 23 leaving me shattered with two very young children to raise. I struggled for 5 years and hardly thought about a partner. Went out with a few women but with no real interest in sx with any of them. At age 30, I moved next door to a mature couple in their mid 40s. The woman was very attractive and I found myself very turned on by her. She was very perceptive and spotted my attraction and one day invited me in. Conversation soon turned to sx and she told me she and her husband had an open marriage and asked if I would make love to her while her husband watched. One thing led to another and he joined us. It didn't seem to bother me at all and I wondered about it for some time. I decided to try it with a man with little success or interest. Then one day I met a man I found myself very attracted to and we became involved. What it all boils down to is that I finally realized that I wasn't attracted to the gender at all but the person and gender made no difference. I'm a true bi these days. Gender means nothing at all to me. It's the person not the gender I'm attracted to.
KAREN...
i really would like to requote wat you said above...
'''''Gender means nothing at all to me. It’s the person not the gender I’m attracted to.'''''
you have easily put into 2 sentences wat we bi's are really by nature.
thanks.
Allow me to correct you and send you to the post with Pansexuality - Pansexuals are the ones who claim to be gender blind, and who are rather attracted to someone`s appearance/personality rather than what`s between the legs
That's not necessarily true hun. I'm not gender blind. I do recognize gender. I'm not attracted to men per say. Just certain types of men. I'm not really attracted to women either. Again, just certain types of women. I'm basically a trans lesbian and my major attraction is to other tgs. I also have a huge thing for male, female couples. That makes me a bisexual.
I think the fact that there is less stigma attached to experimentation and more visibility of same sex 'play' in the media has led many to speculate about the genuine feelings that individuals who self identify as bi may feel. Still people who are truly 'bi' (which I am defining as anyone who has attractions to both men and women, regardless of which sex they prefer) can have a difficult time shedding the juvenille connotations associated with the word bisexual, and that's probably why there are so many new ways to self identify (fluid, queer, andro etc). I also think that, especially in the older dyke community, that there were lots of pressures placed on women only date women, and that any women who 'strayed' and dated men were shunned. (I think there were myriad reasons for this, and some legitimate, bt the reasons this was done are not relevant anymore.) I think that some of these new names are kind of relics of that kind of thinking... that women who identify as 'bi' are automatically lumped in with the swinger community or seen as promiscuous (hey, some of us are, but not ALL
and hence the various ways of self identifying. No one wants to have to deny who they are or have to sublimate feelings in order to fit in. Sadly, even the gay community has been guilty of pressing conformity on its own members in the past.